Sunday, 22 February 2009

We hold these truths to be self evident, that all shoes are created equal...

Now that my muffin top has upgraded itself to a deluxe 9 inch Christmas cake with marzipan and lumpy royal icing, I've decided to focus my efforts on shoes.  My feet have recently shrunk half a size and so I've decided to reward them with the love and attention they deserve.  

This has opened a whole new world to me.  Where have shoes been all my life?  Take a look at these beauties.  I love them.  


Big Owl* is less sure and has commented that they're different to my usual choice.  Exactly. That is the point.  I'm having small mid-life crisis in shoe form, which will pass when I fall over again at work and take out a row of desk pod partitions.  

It's happened before - the partitions fell like dominoes and, as I picked myself up and dusted off my wide legged trousers (which were responsible for the whole thing - heels get caught in my wide legged trousers), no-one said a word.  A room full of men and no-one asked if I was O.K.  Admittedly, there were all software developers.  I think that they felt it was bad enough that they had to share their working day with a woman, but when she had the bad taste to draw attention to herself, the only possible reaction was for them to huddle closer to their monitors and code faster.

Anyway,  I've discovered that high heeled play shoes pay no attention to buttons that refuse to do up over expanding chests.  They ignore bingo wings, and forgive wobbling thighs. They preach body tolerance and size equality.  What a relief to have found them.  Now I just need to turn my lumbering lurch when wearing them into a sexy catwalk-model strut.  Easy peasy. 

I feel another visit to the orthopaedic  surgeon coming on.

*Big Owl:  my husband, formerly known as Big Al but renamed by my sister's five year old son.  He is indeed a Wise Old Owl but shows me far more patience that his namesake did for Pooh.

8 comments:

Potty Mummy said...

I have just one word for you sis: Shoewawa. A blog of beauty (yes, even I have the odd shoe moment...)

Lady Perkleton of Gower said...

I luuurve them. Nuff said

Expat mum said...

Gosh they look a tad high. You'll give yourself bunions!
BTW, thanks for adding me (and only me) to your "Blogs that I Follow" list. What a gal!

auntiegwen said...

Gorgeous shoes, just wait till you get to handbags (they never make you look fat, they are your friend !)

Footballers Knees said...

Ladies, I'm due to wear the shoes tomorrow night. I have found skinny jeans which show them off and a top which covers the muffin top created by the overspill from the skinny jeans - well, that flab has to go somewhere.
PM - thanks for the tip, am about to visit.

Lady P - you may love them now, but will you love them when picking me up from the pavement?

Expat Mum - yes, they are high. Which is why I'm wearing flats to walk from the hotel to the bar. A distance of about 10 metres but could be 10 miles in those shoes.

Auntie Gwen - love your blog. I'm going to progress to handbags as soon as the husband looks the other way and I can sneak in ANOTHER online shop delivery.

Nunhead Mum of One said...

I LURVE them! I WANT them!

Lady Perkleton of Gower said...

Footballers Knees, if you didn't keep throwing yourself on the floor (and thats got nothing to do with your shoes), I wouldn't have to pick you up!

Thames said...

Too funny, I see it runs in the family.

Love the shoes.

BTW -- highlighting your blog on mummy bloggers this week...