Sunday, 16 November 2008

Dear Sir/Madam...

FAO Her Majesty's Chief Inspector of Schools
Alexandra House

November 2000

Dear Sir/Madam,

Re. National Curriculum - Pre-School

I have recently decided to move to Somerset and have subsequently been visiting nurseries and play groups in the area.  My investigations and my own experience of raising a child of pre-school age have led me to a disturbing conclusion - the Early Learning section of the National Curriculum is severely lacking in several areas.  As a result, I would like you and your team to consider including the attached topics in future versions of the Curriculum and have included several questions as a useful teaching aid.  

Please note - these are all questions I have been asked by my four year old.

Please contact me if you wish to discuss the questions further.  Please do NOT contact me if you wish to discuss the answers.

Yours faithfully,

1.  The Body
Why do we have skin?
Why do I need to sleep if my batteries don't need re-charging?
What does my brain do?
Why do we have legs?
Can I still breathe when I'm dead?
Why does all your skin fall off when your dead?

2.  Reproduction
What was it like in your tummy?
Why couldn't I see in your tummy?
Was I laughing when I came out of your 'china'?
Did my head hurt when I came out of you?
Why was I borned a boy?

3.  The world around us
Why are there clouds?
Why does the world move past us when we drive?
Is a cyclone badder than a hurricane
If Frosties tigers eat Frosties, why do ordinary tigers eat people?

4.  Natural history
If dinosaurs were alive before we were born, were we dead?
What did dinosaurs do all day?
Which is badder, a brontosaurus or a tyrannosaurs rex?
If I tell you that there was a brontosaurus with horns, and you always say that there wasn't, would you keep quiet and say yes?
Can a sabre toothed tiger run faster than a cheetah?

5.  Philosophy
When I die, will I be born again?
Can you still hear me when I'm dead?


Potty Mummy said...

Ah - Happy Days...

Anonymous said...

Stunningly imaginative!

If answering those questions is mummy homework I am sorely under qualified.

rosiero said...

Oh, the dreaded questions. They usually ask them in a crowd of people when it goes all quiet and you have to pretend to be Einstein to answer them!!

Footballers Knees said...

Yes, he asked those questions eight years ago, and I still haven't thought of the answers! Still, now he has the internet!

Ladybird World Mother said...

At least you got nouns in there... how about...Mummy, you know that thing where the thing is.. well can we get one?
Bit tricky to answer.

Paradise Lost In Translation said...

These are wonderful questions, don't you just love them, even though it takes all one's resources to think up good answers? I just love the way kids think, and cut straight to the chase!