With this in mind, I've compiled a list of goals which, when reached, will make me a real Grown Up.
10 ways to know when I'm a Grown Up -
1. I will wear matching underwear every day.
2. I will tidy the drawer for my matching underwear so that items are grouped into Special, Going Out, Weekend and Work. As my mother told me (not long ago) 'Keeping a tidy underwear drawer takes hard work, FK. It doesn't just happen on it's own.'
3. I won't feel sick every time I go to the ATM.
4. I will stop swearing at other drivers, especially women at roundabouts.
5. I will delay changing into my pyjamas until at least 9.00p.m. At the moment, Big Al greets me at the door, I hand him my laptop bag and head straight upstairs to change into an old yoga outfit.
6. I will try yoga for the first time.
7. I will stop buying Walkers' French Fries as diet food, and eating three packets in a row.
8. I will get myself on the PTFA cake stall for the Christmas Fayre. Whoops, too late on this one for the third year running. My mother should have put my name down at birth.
9. I will have a tidy i-Pod full of worthy and meaningful songs, so that I don't shuffle through 89 tracks on my way to work, stopping only for the Spice Girls, Elbow and the occasional OMD hit from 1986.
10. I will shave my legs more than once a fortnight so that Big Al doesn't get velcroed to me in bed at night.
On a more positive note, I feel I'm moving in the right direction:
10 reasons why I know that I'm almost a Grown Up -
1. We have a guest room, which is tidy most of the time and not really used to store bags for the charity shop.
2. I put towels in the guest room when guests come to stay. And feel slightly shocked when they are unused after the guests have left the following morning.
3. I drive at 30mph in built up areas. I'd like to say it's because I had a 'road to Damascus' moment at the speed workshop I attended last year. But that would be lying. It's because I get such pleasure from making others behind me drive at the same speed. Especially Jonnie Boden types in large 4x4's.
4. My car has both front and rear fog lights.
5. I have comfortable insoles in all of my shoes. And not many of my shoes need re-heeling.
6. I made a Christmas cake. AND I'm feeding it. When I remember.
7. I went to the Lake District at half term and drank coffee out of a flask whilst wearing water-proof over-trousers.
8. I use a micro cloth on the shower door EVERY morning.
9. I buy the Christmas edition of Good House Keeping magazine and follow the instructions for a 'simple' Christmas Dinner with a diligence and attention to detail that would have made Barack's campaign team proud.
10. My creative son made a pretend security swipe system for his bedroom door out of an empty box previously used for my sensitive bladder panty liners.
Surely you can't get more grown up than wee-ing when you sneeze?