Monday, 15 December 2008

Bless me, Father...

Nunhead Mum of One has tagged me to reveal 7 facts about myself as part of the Breast Cancer Awareness campaign (thank-you!).  I would attach the tag but I've been battling with the Edit functions on Big Al's Mac, (why the hell did we get a Mac?).  Anyway, it's too late in the evening to be trying to right click on a non right click mouse, so you'll just have to imagine the tag.

In keeping with my convent school upbringing, I've decided to arrange them in a Seven Deadly Sins style, so here goes:

Gluttony (over-indulgence and over consumption to the point of waste).  So, SO many to choose from, but the most festive would be eating a whole chocolate orange left by Father Christmas, before I even put a foot out of bed on Christmas morning.

Greed (a sin of excess, applied to the acquisition of wealth).  Possibly it would be paying £80 for a sable blusher brush from Harvey Nicks after the vulture-like cosmetic counter assistants had sold me the earth in a make-up bag. In my defence, I didn't realise that it cost that much until I'd left the store.  I decided that I had to keep it as, by that time, I'd drunk half a bottle of white wine to get over the shock and really couldn't be bothered to go back. 

Sloth (the failure to utilize one's talents and gifts).  Hmmn.  I do tell Big Al that I have a headache too often for his liking....

Lust (involving obsessive or excessive thoughts or desires).  This is quite closely tied up with Gluttony for me.  I'll leave it there.

Wrath (uncontrolled feelings of anger).  Don't get me started.  OK, if you insist - the top 3 things which make me angry:

1.  Women who take ages in the loo when there's a huge queue.  What. Are. You. Doing. In. There?  It takes me 2 minutes, three tops, to go to the loo.  There are 30 people waiting for you to finish.  Now is not the time to start rooting in your handbag for lipstick or to call your boyfriend on your mobile.  

In fact, there's another thing which I don't get - women who use their mobiles whilst they are on the loo.  It's not just that it's wrong and breaks an unwritten health rule, it's that this is my quiet time and I don't want a stranger to hear me pee-ing whilst their partner asks them what they want for tea.

2.  Hairdressers who are young enough to be my daughter.  What the hell happened there?

3.  Smug parents in coffee shops who use the rest of us as their audience as they're talking to their children.   For double points, they talk to their children in the third person. The whole family will be in Boden, the mother will have a Kath Kidston accessory tucked away somewhere (so 2006) and the father will be wearing a trilby cocked to one side and will read the Guardian.

Envy (resentment that another person has something one may perceive as lacking).  A difficult one this, I don't really want to own up to Envy.  Probably something to do with babies.  i.e. Big Al and I can't have any, at a time when most of our friends are having their second or third.  Of course, I'm very happy for them all.  Except Big Al's friend who we met up with at the weekend and who has a wife pregnant with their first.  And who was already talking about 'having another two at least'.  Not the most sensitive of men, but I consoled myself with the fact that he was wearing a Harris Tweed jacket and looked a bit of an arse.

Pride (a desire to be more important or attractive than others).  Well, who wouldn't?  

I'll get my rosary, shall I?


Anonymous said...

I'm with you on the - why do some women spend 30mins in the loo when there's a big queue - issue. Drives me up the wall! Come on people - there is only one thing you should be doing in there, you've done it many, many times before and it isn't that difficualt! Concentrate and get on with it!

Footballers Knees said...

Absolutely. Perhaps it's something they should teach in school as part of the new social studies curriculum? Toilet etiquette.